Everybody is lining up with hat in hand, hang dog look with head down
and claiming poverty so poor it only looks like they're rich. Stand in
line, it's gob'ment money! Write your Congressperson and demand that
men in towncars be given the keys to the printing presses.

 Printing presses are smoking as they have never printed so much and
so many promises. We are printing forty-three mega-gazzilions dollars
and the market can't get enough of 'em. No inflation here. Fill up
your tank for a sawbuck and leave a tip. Never a better time to see
Europe. Money is so good that you can hire a white guy to wash your
car for what a Mexican was doing it for a few months back.

 Why does the dollar get stronger as things grow worse? The dollar is
a promise that the gob'ment will be able to collect enough taxes to
pay IOUs. How much is forty-three mega gazzilion dollars? Don't worry
you're too old to have to start paying back that much money. On the
other hand your grand children will be sucking off Saudi's until their
children are old enough to pucker-up. Chinese tourists will one day
visit Kansas City to see a donkey show.

 My oh my, my IRA looks DOA. Don't worry help is on the way. K-Mart is
having a sale, seventy-five percent off. Do they still have blue
lights? They should because what happens next will be pornographic. A
savior will appear and buy stocks for  ten percent more than he says
they are worth. Thankyou kind sir for saving me, I thought I was going
broke. I am so glad he took my retirement private, so glad that I
won't mind buying it back next year at ten times what I sold it for.
Retirement is for old people, McDonalds is a good third job.

The bankers and CEOs will get together with the EU bankers and CEOs,
with the Arabian oil sheiks and with the Chinese Party officials and
toast the information age. They have all gotten bonuses and now they
want to give others boners. Life is good for the right people and it
promises to get better.